I am tired...

At this very moment, all I can say is I am tired.And it's not just physical fatigue,it's mental fatigue  as well.


I feel I am tired of the way things are going on in my life - a life which I choose to live but so many external factors and circumstances are entwined in each and every decision that I have to take. I am tired of trying to prove myself to this world and to myself that I can be something.I am tired of not being loved, of not being able to love the one whom I so desperately want to and not being able to get the same affection in return.


I am tired of comparisons, that people draw between me and others. I am tired of living up to the expectations of my parents, my family, my friends, my office and the whole world.I am tired of deadlines and plans, tired of reports and reviews and evaluations and calculations.I am tired of all the meetings and discussions that I get involved in every day when I don't have slightest clue as to where they are gonna take me to.


Frankly, I am all too tired of life and too tired of being a failure.This fatigue within is killing me.I pray God that He either gives me enough strength to live through this phase with with hope and determination, else give me enough courage to finish all this melodrama and end this bloody life.


For I am too tired of not being able to be myself.

Thinking about her....

I have been thinking about her for quiet a while,
And her name is enough to bring about a smile.


We have been friends since I was in school,
And I think she is really cool.


There is no doubt that I enjoy her company,
Her charm,my friends,is canny.


I don't realise since when I began liking her,
All I realise,is this bloody life, would be too difficult to live without her.


I always told her that our friendship is close,
But am afraid to say, that what I want from her, is to be really close.


I am not sure if she loves me,
All I want from her is to understand me & be with me.


She told me that her parents were looking for an ideal match,
When I heard this, my heart got a permanent scratch.


How thee I tell you that I am in love with you,
That this life of mine,would be meaningless,would simply be meaningless without you.....